Koala Game Diary – March 27, 2008

Hey folks! This is the inaugural post of a recurrent feature here at Chewing the Eucalyptus. I’ll be periodically posting the goings on of my gaming life. But first some background: I’ve been an avid gamer since as far back as I can remember.

My very first system was the old classic NES that my parents got me as a gift at much cajoling. I can still remember rolling on the floor shooting ducks and trying to figure out how to use the R.O.B. that came with the game.

Tran-style

My cousin in D.C. recently sent out a hilarious link to a fellow wordpress.com blogsite Stuff White People Like. I particularly like #11 Asian Girls because this perfectly describes one of my college buddies, and #40 Apple Products because let’s be honest, when’s the last time you saw anybdy but a white person using a Macs FACT! For example, do you know any Azns that use macs? They are far too busy building from scratch the biggest, fastest, PC to play World of Warcraft and torrent anime. Anyways, ideas started percolating in my brain and after a weekend of hanging out with my bad-@ss MMA-fighting younger brother and my Lord Jeff-ian baby sister, check out the flow below.

Koala’s Movie Corner – Enchanted, Atonement

Recently checked out two pretty different movies that arrived in my mailbox via the magic of Netflix.

Enchanted - Loved it. Cute, funny, and disarmingly entertaining for 100 minutes. Whether it be a 21st century New York vermin-featuring homage to the working songs of Snow White and Cinderella, or a role reversal of the “white knight” being rescued by his damsel, I really enjoyed the send-ups and shout-outs to many of the old Disney classics that fill this movie to bursting. I thought Amy Adams was terrific in it. She’s come a long from hanging with Jim Halpert and planning on being Lost with Legally Blonde or the Bridges of Madison County. She took a role that could easily have devolved into a cheesy mess and injected it with believability and warmth. I could easily see her as one of the nominees for Best Actress. After all, you can only have so much of women playing ugly (see Charlize Theron), playing men (see Hilary Swank, Felicity Huffman), or being old (see Judi Dench, etc). Overall, I rate this movie 5 out of 5 eucalyptus leaves. Buy it on Blu-Ray, watch it, love it.

The most famous area code of the 90’s.

So I was doing my normal perusing of entertainment news site, when I came across this link.

Needless to say, I was taken aback! They’re bringing back 90210?!? This is a show that I watched the f out of back in the early and mid 90’s. Who can forget classics like Donna Martin Graduates…Brandon gets drunk and crashes his car…You need an egg to get into a rave…Emily Valentine is an arsonist…Dylan gets an intervention…McSteamy’s real life wife gets shot and by her own dad’s hitmen!…and of course, the eternal question that continually plagued Dylan: Brenda or Kelly?

The raven-haired transplant from Minnesota or the leggy California blonde. Wow, tough choice. It’s hard to go wrong with either one. I mean, it’s not like this is Andrea we are talking about. No one wants her except for that half bartender/half lawyer Latin guy. After much soul searching and a quick google image search, winning in a landslide is the one and only Kelly Taylor.

Videogame Character Part II

The character Koala chose seems to be pretty good. The guy has it all. BUT….The only problem is that Koala created him. Therefore, it’s easy to like the guy that you created. Kinda like cheating in a way J. Plus none of the readers can identify with this character as they are not familiar with him.

So I’m going to add my take on this age old question of “which character I would like to be”. First off, I had to think of the main criteria of the guy. Here’s a few of them:

- Badass

- Fighting ability

- Chicks

- Appearance

- The game has to be good

Cloud from FFVII was one of the first that came to mind. But he can be a little effeminate and too much of a pretty boy sometimes. Link is boring and looks like a pansy. The elf wears green tights?!?! I eliminated Master Chief and anyone else who uses guns cause I don’t like guns. Ultimately, I went with the lead character from one of my favorite games, Star Wars KOTOR…….Darth Revan

Badass? He’s the most powerful Jedi/Sith . Fighting Ability? He uses lightsabers and Force Powers! Chicks? He’s got a hot Jedi girl named Bastila. Appearance? Check the picture below. And finally, Star Wars KOTOR is a great game.

Now technically, he’s an evil character in the beginning, and then you play through it, choosing whether or not he becomes good in the end (Note: I made him evil). But either way, it doesn’t really matter. Darth Revan is the baddest man in videogames.

Which videogame character would you want to be?

My first reaction was well, hey, that’s an easy one. I’d want to be Master Chief. I love Halo, hell, I put a good 200 hours into playing halo 2 online. But then I thought….hmmmm….do I really want some lady plugged into my head 24/7, telling me what to do, where to go. I already get enough of that at home. ha! (love you babe). And seriously, if I have to go to the bathroom, I don’t want to spend 25 minutes figuring out how to take off my 300 pound suit of armor. When nature’s calling, sometimes you just gotta go.

So ok, not Master Chief. I started to think about some of the other classic game types. One of those Final Fantasy guys like Cloud or Va’an. Um, no thank you. Not only do they have terrible hair, but keep getting more and more gay with each sequel. “How about Mario? He’s classic!” you say. Well, I say he’s a mere plumber who consistently allows his princess to be kidnapped by a half dragon, half turtle mutant. Plus, my dad has one of those industrial vacuum cleaners that’s like wearing a hoover on your back and yeah, that thing didn’t look cool in mario sunshine either.

So what’s the character that I would want to be? I’m going with the Asian Commander Shepard from Mass Effect. I made him look like me, except if I was tough and had battle scars and was jacked. Not only did I have two hot girls fighting over me, but I also managed to kick some serious Geth @ss using my sick pistol and some biotic (or as I like to call it, force powers). Basically the guy was like me…if I entered the military….learned how to shoot a gun….and could lift people in the air with my thoughts. um, yeah.

Picture an AZN version of this, and that’s how my guy looks.